Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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