i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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