There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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