I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize