question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
