I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize