You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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