I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
