Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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