Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
As shirtless as possible
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
