remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize