You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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