She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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