i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
