You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
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He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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