Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
