Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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