the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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