He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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