I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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