I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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