Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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