I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
