About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
