Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what day is it and did you see me today?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
