I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
