my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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