there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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