I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
