Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
