that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
