Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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