What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
