i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
