I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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