Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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