Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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