It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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