Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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