Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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