I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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