remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
