Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
