He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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