I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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