Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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