i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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