so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
