Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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