Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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