I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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