Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
