I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
