Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
