hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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