I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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