I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would ride that face into the sunset
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
