Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
