u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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