Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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