i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
