Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
