She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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