Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
