You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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