my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize