love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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