Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
