If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
